The End of Twitter As We Know It

Sally Albright
2 min readNov 11, 2022

For those of you watching from the cheap seats as Elon Musk burns Twitter to the ground using his personal wealth as the accelerant, here’s the latest:

Anyone can now buy a blue check, even brand new accounts with no followers. There’s no distinction from the “real” blue checks that used to indicate an authority figure has verified the account. So for $8, anyone can pretend to be anyone, or any brand, and there’s no way to tell.

I think you see where this is going.

Naturally the copycats sprung up like toadstools in a dog park. Brands and institutions making crazy announcements that would terrify any stockholder, politicians and celebrities tweeting things that would normally get them cancelled for life.

Elon immediately recognized his folly and moved swiftly to implement a foolproof remedy. He declared that anyone pretending to be someone else has to disclose that fact. The next day he doubled down on his faith in the honor system but attempted to strengthen his edict. Now anyone who isn’t who they say they are must have “parody” in their username. He has spoken.

(As an aside, he tweeted all this from his personal Twitter account that only has about 1.5 million followers. He did not think to make everyone on Twitter follow him automatically like Tom from Myspace — which is what *I* would have done if I were a megalomaniac with a $44 billion dollar vanity project — but I digress.)

There’s no enforcement mechanism of course because he’s fired everyone who didn’t already quit. So the only ones adding “parody” to their names are regular people mocking him while the fake accounts continue popping up like a whack-a-mole game missing the mallot, wreaking havoc on our collective consciousness.

I pledged that I would stay and not leave vulnerable people to fight Nazis and Bernie freaks on their own. Trolls I can handle — I’ve been battling that onslaught for years.

But false information and uncertainty? That’s my own personal hell. (And about an election? That’s just cruel.) So I’m not sure how this is going to end for me, but at the very least I’ll try to entertain you like the band on the deck of the Titanic. Watch this space.

Sally Albright

Comms Strategist, Organizer, Voter Advocate, Rock&Roll Girl. Unprofessional Writer. Don’t be alarmed if I mistake you for a hat.