When Millennials Consider The Ladder Theory…

Sally Albright
2 min readJul 10, 2021

Sally: … and so, girls have two ladders, see? And…

Millennial Guy 1: Why do the girls get so many ladders and guys only get one? I think I’m going to need at least three ladders.

Sally: Guys only have ONE ladder. That’s the whole point of the Ladder Theory.

Millennial Guy 2: I don’t feel seen.

Sally: Oh, the Ladder Theory sees you. It sees things you cannot see.

Millennial Guy 3: I’m gay, how many ladders do I have?

Sally: Huh… this is really more of a theory about straight people, but…. I feel like you have the same ladder, it’s just lying on the ground horizontally.

Millennial Girl 1: Okay, I counted and I have FIVE ladders.

Sally: NO! And if you keep thinking that way, we’re going to take away your good ladder and leave you with the bad ladder that NOBODY wants to be on.

Millennial Girl 2: I’m afraid of ladders.

Sally: You don’t actually CLIMB the ladder, it’s really more of a ranking system in your mind where you…

Millennial: I feel like you shouldn’t get to decide for someone else what ladder they should be on or how high they are on the ladder. They should get to decide for themselves.



Sally: Okay let’s start over. See, the way the “Friend Zone” works is…

Millennial: Why can’t you have people on both ladders at the same time? That seems like the fair way to go about it.

Sally: *head explodes*

Somewhere out there, Dallas Lynn’s head explodes.

Sally Albright

Comms Strategist, Organizer, Voter Advocate, Rock&Roll Girl. Unprofessional Writer. Don’t be alarmed if I mistake you for a hat. http://SallyingForth.com